*(that is the punchline to the funniest joke i'd ever heard, in 5th grade.)
for some unknown reason, i got installed as some kind of online sewing guru about 7 years ago. honestly, i don't know how it happened--all i know is, someone would ask a question on a list or newsgroup, and i'd respond, and the next thing i knew, people were writing to ask ME--specifically ME--for advice or instruction.
this still surprises me. it seems like the people who should be getting the questions are the ones who have TV shows, or have written books.
but here i am, and thus i get all kinds of questions, all of which i try to answer with respect AND hopefully with something useful.
here is the problem: i sometimes get questions that truly confuse me--not because the problem is so hard--but because it just doesn't make sense to me. for example, i've been saying for a years now that there is no such thing as a maternity poncho. there just IS NOT. a poncho has no belly--there is nothing to adjust to make it "fit" (if "fitting" is something you can say about a poncho).
had i been asked, i'd have said the same thing about aprons, which i file under the category of "things that tie on do not need pattern adjustments". but oh, i would have been so wrong--lookie what i found on that mecca of learning, eBay:
as you can plainly see, it states right on the envelope, "maternity apron". (go on--click the picture--see for yourself):
i feel so liberated! finally, i can say, definitively, "yes, dear sleep-deprived, mommy-brained sewing sisters, there IS a maternity apron pattern out there, and i know where to get it"--at least until 13 august, at 6:50pm pacific daylight time/8:50pm central daylight time--but you'll have to race me for it. (NO THAT IS NOT AN "ANNOUNCEMENT").
oh, are you wondering what the post subject line means??? ok, here is the joke--but i'm warning you, unless you are in the 5th grade, this might make no sense or not be funny:
C M puppies?
M R not puppies.
O S M R puppies. C M P N?
L, I B! M R puppies!
<insert sound of me laughing hysterically here>