(Preemptive
defense: Before anybody writes me an angry email about how
their mother’s uncle’s niece is a dancer and the loveliest person
you’ll ever meet, please bear in mind that your VoHostess was
herself a professional ballerina for 20+ years, so she speaks from a
place of intimate familiarity, which we all know breeds
contempt).
The
following are the rules for participating in the most prominent
dancer's forum on the web. Since I don't want to get kicked off
the forum, I will just describe in general terms.
There
are SIXTEEN STICKY THREADS DISCUSSING RULES. You read that
right--the moderators started independent threads in which to expound
on each rule individually.
Rule
#1:
The first rule about dance forum is don't talk about dance
forum.
Rule
#2:
Rule detailing who is allowed to respond to whom and more
emphatically, who is NOT allowed to do so.
Rule
#3:
Rule detailing allowable grammar and punctuation.
Rule
#4:
Rule detailing procedure that will be followed for violation of
Rules.
Rule
#5:
Rule detailing punitive actions that will be taken against
those who have been deemed to have broken the Rules.
Rule
#6:
Rule detailing which spellings and definitions of ballet
terminology will be TOLERATED [sic].
Rule
#7:
Rule detailing acceptable decorum and netiquette (in which the
word "netiquette" itself is described as "borderline
acceptable").
Rule
#8:
Rule detailing what is and more importantly is NOT allowed in
signature lines.
Rule
#9:
Rule detailing conditions under which new members will be
allowed to begin participating in the forums.
Rule
#10:
Rule detailing exactly how you will be kicked off if you
disagree with the Rules.
Rule
#11:
Rule detailing who has authority to edit and revise
Rules.
Rule
#12:
Rule detailing which Rules have priority over other
Rules.
Rule
#13:
Rule detailing how often and under what conditions Rules will
be revised.
Rule
#14:
Rule detailing the procedure for repealing a Rule.
Rule
#15:
Rule detailing why there is no appeal process for getting
yourself kicked off the forum (the essence of which is "ignorance
of the law is not an adequate defense").
Rule
#16:
Rule detailing why there is to be no discussion of the Rules
amongst non-Rulemaking members.
And this, in a very large and grumpy nutshell, is why Ella takes karate.
~~~~~~~~~
By
contrast, here are the rules for the biggest KNITTERS forum on the
web, having approximately a zillion* more members than the biggest
dancers forum on the web (* that number is not much of an
exaggeration--the biggest knitters forum on the web has over TWO
MILLION REGISTERED MEMBERS--whereas the biggest dancers forum has
only 10,000 registered members).
Rule
#1:
Be respectful. No hate speech, no personal attacks.
Don't tell other people's secrets.
Rule
#2:
Some people will disagree with you. Let it go.
Rule
#3:
Offer only constructive comments. If you have an issue
with a person or business, take it directly to them and give them a
chance to make it right.
Rule
#4:
People of all ages, races, nationalities, ethnicities,
religious, political parties, and knitting abilities are welcome.
Welcome others and help them be part of the gang.
Rule
#5:
No spam.
Rule
#6:
Don't use the forums for personal gain. We're help to
help each other, not just ourselves.
My
favorite part of this forum's policy statement is this: "These rules are meant to help our community grow and stay
healthy." That is a worthy and noble goal for any group, including the family unit.